Embrace and Let Go

A friend at the other end of a phone recently asked me how I still function. The question took me a moment to digest. I was telling her that my uncle died a week before Thanksgiving and my Aunt had a heart attack the next day. I was telling how my Dad sounds odd on the phone and isn't sure he wants to spend the winter in Dallas now. And, I was telling this story very matter of fact. Just another day in the life of Kim. I know I've been through a lot this year; my whole family has. I know the carpet has been pulled out from under me time and time again. I wake up expecting a sucker punch in the stomach now. Little things at work that used to stress me out no longer do. I've had friends suddenly stop talking to me and I'm completely ok with that. I no longer feel responsible for how others feel or what they think. For the first time in a long time, a simple question from a friend made me realize how my soap opera of a life is probably wearing people out around me. I can imagine that most don't want to call anymore afraid that I have a new drama to tell them. I think I've finally realize that what I'm going through right now is a very, very rough patch in life. But, no matter what come next, I know I will be stronger and wiser for it. I've learned a lot this year about people and life. I've learned that love is stronger than death and can heal wounds. I appreciate the small things and don't care about annoying stuff like bad drivers or computer crashes. I learned that I'm loyal and those that don't give up on me can count of me during their own time of crisis (or years of crisis as mine has been). I see the bigger picture. I realize that friends and family that walk away (willingly or not) have done their jobs and need to go; to move on to the next chapter in their own journey. I'm learning to let go of painful memories and hurt feelings, too. Another friend, who I'm sure is my kindred spirit, says "embrace and let go" or maybe it's "embrace and release". Anyway, I guess to finally answer the question about how I function? I breath in. I breathe out. I embrace each moment. And, most importantly, I let them go. At least, that is what I'm trying to do. It's a work in progress. Just like me.

;0)